Am I Not Muse Enough?
by Just Another Angry Feminist
Summary: Noah and Gwen have been through the worst course of events anyone could imagine! Thankfully, everything's over now and they're safe once again. This has been a long time coming and they're definitely ready for it.
1. Part 1

**I'm almost finished with _The Scream Team_ so I wrote this little two-parter. I hope you guys like it!**

 **If you haven't read that, there's a link to it on my profile. This can be read without reading that story, but it definitely helps set the mood!**

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"So your family is gone for the week and you're all alone in that huge house?" Noah asked on the other end of Skype. "That's crazy! How could they leave you alone after everything that happened?"

It did sound crazy, but it was my idea to stay here. I didn't want to go meet some random family members that didn't know I existed. They weren't even my family, they were Elizabeth's mom and siblings. Even if I did get stabbed once, it was better to stay home and risk that than be awkward for an entire week. I was just now getting comfortable with my family, there was no way I could handle more this soon.

"Yeah, I didn't want to be awkward for an entire week with a bunch of people that aren't even related to me," I sighed, flipping channels. "It's not all bad, I get the big TV in the living room all to myself. Slasher marathon?"

"Actually, I've got to go do something. Can we talk later?" he asked, turning squirrely suddenly. "Love you, Gwendolyn."

Before I could correct him or say it back, the window closed and I was alone again. Noah didn't want to talk to me and it made my stomach knot up. That was really weird, even for him. What was up with that boy?

I made my way downstairs and put a pizza in the oven. I sat on the counter and ate ice cream straight out of the carton as I waited for it to cook. Dwelling on the bad wouldn't make it any better, even the thought of Noah having another girlfriend my insides felt like they were going to fall out and I wanted to bawl my eyes out. That was the last thing I needed for this week by myself locked in this huge house.

The timer for the pizza dinged right as the doorbell rang. The only people who would be visiting me were Audrey and Noah, but Audrey was doing some major contemplation about herself and currently off the grid and Noah just bailed on me. Who was at my door?

I pulled my pizza out of the oven before rushing to answer it. I glanced out the peephole, still a little paranoid after the Piper incident. It was weird to think I actually befriended the psycho killer of Lakewood. It made my skin crawl a little and an ache go through my back where I'd been stabbed. A person I knew stabbed me, a person I called a friend stabbed me in the back –literally.

Noah was standing there with his hands stuffed in his jacket pockets and his breath visible in the cold night air. I unlocked the door and pulled it open, allowing him to come into the heat. After I relocked all the locks, I turned to look at him with my hands on my hips and a look of contempt on my face.

"What are you doing here? I thought you said you had something important to do," I told him, heading into the kitchen as he stripped off his layers and chased after me. "And my name is Guinevere, not Gwendolyn."

I saw him grin over my shoulder before coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist as I cut the pizza. He kissed the side of my jaw from his spot with his face burrowed into my neck. I liked when we were together like this, everything felt normal again.

"I couldn't just tell you I was coming over to keep you from being lonely. That would've ruined the surprise," he whispered, kissing my neck and making any sort of focus I had evaporate.

"I'm trying to cut this pizza, Noah, and you're making it very difficult," I said breathlessly, closing my eyes in bliss and laying my head back against his shoulder –abandoning the stupid pizza for my boyfriend's lips. "At least take me upstairs before you make my knees weak."

"Yep, that's definitely something I can do," he said quickly turning me around and lifting me up bridal style.

"I am way too heavy for you to pack me! The last thing I want is for you to drop me on the staircase and have to go to the hospital for the night," I laughed, messing up his hair and pressing a kiss to his cheek. "But you're sweet."

He slowly let me back down and I ran, my giggles following behind as he gave chase. I threw open my door and stepped to the side so he could come in before tackling him backward onto my bed.

"Damn, this was not how I expected my night to go when I woke up this morning, but I like it," he laughed, rubbing his hands over his face like a little kid. "Hi, I missed you."

I rolled my eyes and laid my forehead against the bed beside his, my body resting on his. I was straddling his stomach and his hands were laying on my waist loosely. I rolled to my side and pulled him with me, holding his body tight to mine with the two of us on our sides and barely a few inches between us.

"Thank you," I whispered against the fabric of his t-shirt.

"For what? Putting you down before I dropped you?" he asked, sliding his hands up the back of my shirt and rubbing them up and down my spine. "You're welcome, babe."

My moron.

"That, too, but it wasn't what I was thanking you for," I told him, pulling back so our eyes met in the dimly lit room. "I meant for being there for me all the time, for always being an amazing boyfriend. I love you, Noah."

He smiled and his cheeks turned pink, making me smile in return. "I love you, too."

His confession made warmth build in my stomach and spread through my body. I took the side of his neck in my hand and moved until our mouths were touching. He mumbled something, but it was unintelligible with his lips pressed against mine.

I pushed him until his back was pressed against the bed again and I was laying against his side, still kissing him. He moved his hands out of my shirt and pulled me onto his hips again so we were closer together then returned them underneath it timidly.

We pulled apart and I sat up, resting my hands on his chest. Our eyes were locked when I moved his hands to my sides and slid them up with my t-shirt under them. He got the idea and removed my shirt the rest of the way on his own. Awkward as always.

"I was about to ask why you weren't wearing green…" he said, eyeing my bra as his palms became clammy against my skin. "It looks…n-nice though, very nice."

"I can't believe how big of a dork you are," I cried, laying my forehead against his chest as laughter wracked my body. "I love you so, so, so much."

He pushed me up into a sitting position and followed me, wrapping his arms around me tight. I held his shoulder blades in my hands. All the awful things that happened the past year just brought the two of us closer to each other. I couldn't imagine going through it all without him, I needed him too much. We were breathing in sync with each other now, making the moment very intimate.

He leaned back from me and swallowed thickly before pulling his shirt over his head quickly. His face seemed to be a constant blush, but I ignored it and traced my fingers down his chest. We'd taken our shirts off with each other before, I just really liked to touch his skin.

I leaned back into him and reconnected our lips, sliding my tongue along the seam until he let me inside with a choked groan. Well, I think it was a groan –it was kind of hard to decipher but a turn on all the same. I loved when he made noises, it went straight to my head and kind of drove me crazy.

His fingers scorched my skin as they trailed up my spine. He hesitantly dipped them in the waistband of my shorts before moving them back up quickly. He always wanted my permission before he did anything, it was so cute.

I pulled away from him and stood up beside my bed. I sucked my bottom lip into my mouth and waggled my eyebrows saucily at him before dropping my shorts. My panties weren't anything spectacular nor was my bra, they didn't even match. The look on Noah's face told me it didn't matter, he thought I was beautiful.

"Hey, that's my job," he said half-heartedly, eyeing my newly revealed skin. "God, you're so freakin' beautiful, Gwen."

I scrunched up my face and shook my head, grabbing my elbow with my hand awkwardly to cover myself. "No way, you're just trying to get in my pants, Foster."

He hurried onto his feet and grabbed my hands in his. "No! I promise that's not what this is, Gwen. I love you, we don't ever have to have sex. Ever, we never have to have it, we can just sit on the couch and watch horror movies together for the rest of our lives if that's what you want. In thick, flannel pajamas."

I reached up and took the elastic out of the bun on my head and let my crazy curls fall down. "If we're going to do this, I want to be real. Messy, wavy, and all me."

"It's perfect, just like you are," he said, holding my cheeks in his hands. "If we do this, it's going to be my first time, too. I want it to be you and I want it to be right now."

I reached forward and unbuttoned his jeans with surprisingly steady hands, unzipping his zipper and pushing them down his hips. He stepped out of them before clumsily pulling off his socks, losing his balance and grabbing my shoulder to regain it.

"See? Such a dork," I told him, tipping his chin up and kissing him again. "Mhm, I love it."

"You do?" he asked against my lips, tilting them up into a smile. "Good, it's all I've got to work with. And an extensive knowledge of serial killers."

I pulled back and looked at him dramatically. "Take me to bed, Noah."

He laughed so loud he snorted and triggered my own laughter. He gently pushed me onto the bed and waited for me to push the comforter down and lay on the pillows to follow. We started kissing again, but it was more intense than before.

I was holding onto his shoulder and his hair tightly as he gripped my hip in one hand and supported his body weight with his other. I maneuvered my leg up over his waist and used it to pull his body even closer to mine. If the action surprised him, he didn't show it –he just started kissing me more aggressively.

He pushed up onto his knees and slid his hands up my back to my bra. "This looks really good on you, but I want it off. Help. Please?"

There was no laughter this time, just an intense need to be even closer to him. I undid my bra quickly and let him take it off, tossing it away to join the rest of our clothes. I'd never showed this much of my body to him, never to anyone.

Like he sensed my nerves, he pressed a kiss to my collarbone. "So pretty, so perfect. God, this isn't happening. What did I do to deserve this? To deserve you?"

Tears burned my eyes and I pressed the heels of my hand to them to keep the tears at bay. His fingers ghosted over the line of my hipbone lightly. He was so sweet and gentle, I couldn't handle it.

"Hey, are you crying? What's wrong?" he asked, moving off me and laying on his side. "Gwen, I really need you to talk to me right now. This isn't the time to bottle everything up like you do, don't block me out. Not right now, please."

"You're so good, Noah. Dammit," I swore, removing my hands and letting my tears fall. "I'm scared, I don't want you to hurt me."

He moved my hands and pulled me close, rubbing my sides and rocking me. "I'm never going to hurt you, ever."

He was telling the truth. When I got stabbed, he stayed with me until the police got there even with the killer running through the bowling alley. He tried to make me stop bleeding, holding me close as I lost consciousness with the rental shoes. He even lied and rode to the hospital with me, saying he was my brother.

I nodded my head jerkily against his shoulder and pulled back, pressing my forehead against his. His hands came up and he used his thumbs to wipe away my tears, kissing the tip of my nose. I reached behind my neck and unclasped my necklace, making Noah raise his eyebrows in confusion.

"I don't think I should wear this when we have sex. It's weird," I told him, scrunching up my nose in distaste.

He laughed and laid me down with my back against the bed, looking at me fully for the first time. My body heated up tremendously, but I didn't cover myself up. Noah timidly traced his finger between my boobs, leaning forward to press a kiss there.

His eyes were closed as he pressed kisses to my exposed skin. My fingers were in his hair and my back was arching to get closer. When his lips ghosted over the center of my breast, I sucked in a deep breath and bit my bottom lip. He kissed it gently before taking my nipple in his mouth.

"Noah," I breathed, tilting my head back.

He released it and kissed up my throat, his hand sliding down to grip my thigh. I hooked it over his hips once more and held his shoulder, allowing him access to my neck. Our chests pressed together and I let out a moan, maneuvering myself closer to him and the skin to skin contact.

He lifted his face out of the crook of my neck and looked at me. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes were bright, his bottom lip trapped between his teeth. I couldn't help myself, I tackled him over onto his back and pinned his hands down against the mattress.

"My turn."

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 **Don't fear, there's a second part coming! Thanks for reading!**


	2. Part 2

"My turn."

His expression was dazed as he gazed up at me, adoration clear on his face. I leaned down and pressed our lips back together, holding the sides of his face to keep him close. One of his traced along my spine while the other held my hip tight.

I broke off our kiss and worked my way along his jaw, nipping with my teeth and hearing him hiss in pleasure when I caught his earlobe. I sucked on it a little while longer before continuing down his neck. Unlike him I wasn't gentle, I bit and sucked harshly until I left marks on his chest and collarbone. At least they were possible to hide, I didn't leave any on his neck.

"Gwen." He whispered it and sparks lit in the pit of my stomach.

His hand left my back and his fingers knotted themselves in my hair. He used it as an anchor to pull my mouth back up to his when I drifted lower on his stomach. Our kisses were harsh now, all tongues and teeth.

Before I even realized it, I was grinding my hips down on his. He was using his grip on my waist to move me along, even thrusting up to meet me. I was already a mess and we weren't even technically having sex yet.

"G, I want back on top," he forced out, moving his mouth away from mine for a millisecond.

So cute, STILL asking permission to flip me over when I did whatever I wanted to him. I allowed him to maneuver me onto my back, and that was my own mistake. He misjudged how much room he had and I ended up hitting the hardwood floor instead of my fluffy pillowtop.

"Gwen! I'm so sorry! Are you okay?" he peeked over the edge of the bed with a worried expression.

I was laying on my back with my arm tossed over my eyes, laughing like a crazy person. Noah took my hand and pulled me back up, but I was still laughing. He kissed my shoulder and my collarbone until I finally quieted down.

"Think you can manage to keep me on the bed this time, Foster?" I asked, draping my arms over his shoulders and locking eyes with him.

He kissed my bicep and the bend of my elbow before looking at me. "I can do anything you want me to, all you have to do is ask."

"Touch me."

He gulped and nodded, reconnecting our lips. His fingers skimmed down my stomach and rested right above the line of my panties. "I like these, the lace is nice."

"Take them off," I told him bravely.

He raised his eyebrows in surprise but didn't question me. His hands were shaky as he took the sides of my panties in them. He drug them down my legs, me lifting my hips to help him. They were on the floor with everything else when he looked up at me.

Nerves gathered in the pit of my stomach, I was completely naked. This was the ultimate intimacy, I was completely vulnerable to Noah. There was nothing to hide under now, he got to see every inch of me.

His index finger trailed over the soft skin of my lower stomach but ventured no further. My hands were resting on the bed by my hips, but I decided to take control again. I reached up and held his face, pulling his lips back to mine.

His hand slowly moved lower until he was touching me and I whimpered. Our lips were moving together as he slowly explored between my folds. His fingertips brushed over a spot that made my hips thrust up against him, and he groaned appreciatively against my lips.

Tension was building in my stomach as he moved his fingers inside of me. He broke our kiss to focus more and I watched his face. He was so deep in concentration it made my heart swell. Then he brushed against that spot again with his thumb and I felt my stomach get impossibly tighter before the ball exploded.

"Noah!"

My back arched into him and he held me close, kissing the side of my head. My breathing was ragged for a couple seconds until I finally came back to myself. Instead of saying anything, I pushed Noah's boxers down his hips and pulled his mouth back to mine simultaneously; everything was better when we were kissing.

"Please tell me you brought a condom," I said against his lips, wrapping my hand around him and moving it slowly.

"I, uh, it's, uhm," he tried to speak, but he couldn't seem to form words. "G, it's really hard to think when you're touching me, baby, okay?"

I laughed and kissed the corner of his mouth but didn't stop. "Sorry, baby."

He laughed shakily when I tightened grip and it ended in a moan. "I have a, uhn, a condom in my, _Gwen_ , in my wallet."

There was something really hot about making Noah such a mess. He was stuttering and his face was turning red. I leaned forward and kissed his chest before moving off him to grab the condom out of his wallet.

Noah was propped up on his arms watching me as I pulled it out. "This is actually happening. We're actually about to have sex."

I laughed and sat on my knees, looking up at him from the floor. His lips were red and swollen and he had bite marks all over his chest. His pupils were so dilated I barely saw the blue of them anymore.

With a final breath, I crawled back up onto the bed and laid on my back. He moved on top of me and clumsily put on the condom. I double checked to make sure it was on right before I wrapped my legs around his waist.

"Hey," he said, tilting my head up so our eyes were locked. "I love you."

I laughed breathily and repeated his words. "I love you."

He held his weight on his arm by my head, his hand cupping the back of it gently. His other angled himself until he was pressing against me. I held the back of his shoulder, his side, and his gaze when I nodded for him to go the rest of the way.

It burned when he first pushed in, but it went away pretty quickly and was replaced by a weird stretching feeling. I lied, the burn was still kind of there but easy to ignore. I didn't move until he was all the way inside me, I probably didn't even breathe.

"Can you just wait a second? It's a lot," I told him, my eyes closed as I tried to gather myself.

"Is it too much? We can stop anytime you want," he said softly, kissing my closed eyelids. "It's whatever you want, always whatever you want."

I shook my head and forced myself to look at him. His face was strained, he was holding himself in check for me. This wasn't just about me, it was his first time, too. Going slow was probably driving him insane.

I experimentally lifted my hips and felt him slide even deeper. Instead of stinging like I thought, it actually felt kind of good. A breathless whimper slipped from my lips and Noah finally breathed normally.

"I'm okay, you can move."

His lips found their home on mine as he slid out slowly and back in just as slow. We were moving together clumsily as we tried to find a rhythm. Eventually it started to really feel amazing, he was moaning and groaning quietly against the skin of my throat where he'd buried his face.

"Noah, so good," I breathed, carding my fingers in his hair. "God, so good."

"You, this, _amazing_ ," he replied, pulling his head up to look at me. "So pretty."

His hips were working against mine faster when I felt him twitch inside me. I wasn't a professional or anything, but I'm pretty sure that meant he was close. I wasn't, but I desperately wanted to see him come undone.

Like he'd read my mind, his fingers found the spot from earlier and circled it. I rushed toward another release faster than I thought possible. The ball was back in my stomach, the tension inside it building quickly.

"God, Noah, I love you," I whimpered as I got closer and closer.

It wasn't as powerful as the one from earlier, but it left a pleasant warmth in its wake. Noah followed me a couple of seconds later, telling me he loved me in quick succession against my skin as it happened. I loosened my grip on his hair and his side enough for him to pull out of me, making the burn from earlier come back faintly.

Noah's hand grabbed me and pulled me close, one of them running through my hair and the other rubbing my side. His fingers ghosted over the puckered scar and slowed, touching it gingerly.

"Hi," I breathed, looking up at him through my lashes shyly.

"Hi," he repeated, looking down at me with dazed, lazy eyes and a satisfied smile.

I moved forward and kissed his chin, along his jaw, and landed happily with my lips against his. I was too sated to move much, but I didn't want to disconnect from him ever again. It almost felt like we were breathing in time with each other, like our hearts were beating together.

"Will you stay with me?" I asked, tracing my finger along his cheekbone.

"Of course, just try and make me leave," he replied, still touching my knife scar. "Does it still hurt?"

"No, but it really hurt when it happened. It's just a scar now," I replied, my eyes closed as I tucked my head under his chin.

"I'm sorry I didn't keep you safe, I should've been with you." His voice was barely above a whisper as he confessed. "If you would've been really hurt or _worse_ , I would have been ruined, Gwen."

I thought being naked with Noah was the most intimate thing we could ever do, but I was wrong. He was saying things he'd never said out loud. This was intimacy, this was what brought us closer than I ever imagined I could be to another person.

"I was seven when my gram died and I thought it was my fault because I tore her picture off the wall when she called me fat," I said in a rush, keeping my head tucked instead of looking at him.

"What? Those things have nothing to do with each other," he replied, his hands still rubbing me and holding my head. "Tell me about it."

I recounted the story for him, laughing at how stupid it actually sounded. "I've never told anyone that, not even my mom."

We laid in bed together for hours just talking about everything under the sun. He told me about the first time he ever watched a horror movie with his dad. I told him about the first time I ever painted with my mom. His head was lying on my stomach and my fingers were playing with his hair absentmindedly, both of us still completely naked and comfortable with each other.

"Why don't you paint anymore?" he asked after I finished the story of turpentine stripping the paint off the walls of our apartment by accident.

"I don't know, I guess it reminds me too much of my mom," I replied, twisting a lock of his hair around my finger as I spoke. "I just haven't been inspired."

He scoffed and sat up, looking at me pointedly. "You mean I'm not inspiring? Your love for me isn't enough of a muse to make you paint? I'm offended."

"You are so dramatic!" I cried without moving from my comfy spot. "Now come back, I'm cold."

He grinned and dove under the covers beside me, pulling my body close to his chest. Warmth blossomed in my chest when he ran his fingers up and down my back gently. This was where I was supposed to be, here with Noah in the warmth of my bed. Everything we've been through was to get us to this place, this safety.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

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 **This is the end. Thanks for reading!**


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